Dear Anonymous,
Wait, so you're rejecting me because I'm capable of hurting you? I'm capable of hurting you, so you're hurting me?
Look, we all hurt each other. Unfortunately, that's the way it goes. But hurting someone who is apologizing and asking for a second chance? A second chance, not an eighth chance, mind you. That's ridiculous.
There is a serious emotional illogic to hurting in response to being hurt; it is the cycle that creates abused children who become rapists whose victims abuse their children, it is the cycle that keeps genetically identical people locked in perpetual war for arbitrary geographical dominance, it is the reason you and I hurt each other so much those years ago.
Being unable to accept being hurt, and thus rise above it, is not only why you won't try to be my friend again, but also why human beings won't stop killing each other.
Studies show that if you put a rat alone in a cage with an electrified floor, it'll die full of tumors. Give it another rat to fight with while they are both electrocuted and they will kill each other, but die tumor-free.
Human beings are better than rats, and so it still hurts my feelings that you won't talk to me. Maybe if I could just call you a rat I'd be done with it, but I'd rather have a tumor than the world have another Holocaust.
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4 comments:
::sigh:: I was going to read your old blog entries, the ones I haven't seen in the last few months, but here I come and realize you link has gone to a new blog. Alright, fair enough. Btw, did you know the letters to non-present or imaginary characters was used by Saul Bellow in... I don't remember which novel, I don't particularly like Saul Bellow :') even though I did like the idea.
Heh... I got kindof confused when I came to the blog... I thought I had spaced out and clicked on someone else's blog by mistake (I'm very tired right now).
When I was reading this post near the beginning I started to think of the aldaily article I posted a while back about the rats :'D and then I saw you referenced the rats on the bottom of this post, so ;') never mind that. Um... Did you read that note, or did I send you the link directly, or did you read about the study somewhere else?
-Avi
Yes! The rat reference -did- come from the article you sent me. I thought it was really interesting. I read every article you send me, even if I don't do so right away or ever send you a lengthy missive on my impressions of it.
I remember one awhile ago about the difference between drama and melodrama. That one had a lasting impression as well.
I'll get those other blog links up there, for you.
I don't remember the one about drama vs. melodrama. Are you sure it was from me? Or could you give me a few details and see if they'd jog my memory? I already checked my notes in facebook and it's not there.
Anyways :') thanks for the response, it made my day. Often I feel like I'm just posting into an abyss (or for my own reference ;') of course, that's not much of a difference considering that I consider myself borderline nonexistant anyways). To paraphase Nietzsche, "When you post into the abyss, the abyss posts into you. Cat ware color hat! LOLZ!"
-Avi
http://www.thesmartset.com/article/article0806070118.aspx
You sent it to me in a Facebook message in August. BOOYAH!
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